Friday’s post had me thinking a lot about what happens when women shed their old lives and emerge changed. It reminded me of the mythological creature “The Phoenix”.
“A phoenix is a mythical bird with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends). It has a 500 to 1,000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix or phoenix egg arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self. In some stories, the new phoenix embalms the ashes of its old self in an egg made of myrrh and deposits it in the Egyptian city of Heliopolis (sun city in Greek). It is said that the bird’s cry is that of a beautiful song.”
I’ve always been fascinated by this story. Whether you believe in Greek mythology or not, it’s a story of new starts. It’s a story of something beautiful emerging from the ashes. It’s how I felt inside when my life completely changed. I rose from the inferno of chaos and strife to emerge beautiful and new. All that old “stuff” burned up.
If you’ve heard of Maya Angelou, then you know this poem. I think it’s a fitting way to end this post. It also ties into the When I see a woman post. No matter what we see or don’t see, that woman has a Phoenix inside. You never know when she will rise.
Still I Rise
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
Maya Angelou
Rise past judgment. Rise past strife. Rise up and let the beauty of the inside shine outwardly.
In light of the recent women’s retreat, I have had some issues on my mind. We spent a better part of the weekend learning about what kind of woman NOT to be. The immoral woman. The indiscreet woman. The irritating woman.
As the descriptions unfolded I heard the gasps around me. I heard the shocking cries about these terrible women. I could feel the JUDGMENT in the very large room, and the underlying hint of anger at their actions and corruptions.
Friends, it did not make me feel righteous. Truth is, I have been all three of those women in my lifetime. I’ve been in some of those places they described. I’m not proud of it. Not at all. But know this – because of that – I don’t see people the same way as others, at least most of the time anyway. I guess it makes me different (or maybe I’m not?). I know to me it hurts to shame women with opinions I have no right to behold. Maybe there is another story behind their actions, behind their clothes, behind their situation. Have you ever considered this?
My heart tells me to see these women differently. To Keep believing, keep hoping, and keep loving. As the famous Avatar movie would say, “I see you”. And this is how I choose to see women described as immoral, indiscreet, and irritating.
When I see a young woman dressed in a short skirt, a tight, low-cut t-shirt labeled “Too Hot to Care”. I don’t see a child I want to reprimand and explain proper attire to. I see a little girl who is crying out for direction. She has followed the wrong role models and has had no one protecting her morality. She wants attention. She is LONELY.
When I see a woman tightly wound with a chip on her shoulder. She snaps at the waitress. Her food is too cold, too hot, and all kinds of wrong. She glares at the man next to her while he shudders inwardly and tiptoes around her drama stage. I don’t see intolerance, and contention. I see a woman who is SCARED. She is scared to love. She is scared to be loved and pushes everyone away to protect herself.
When I see a woman flirting with a married man. She charms him. She knows exactly what to do and say. A wink, a smile, a lick of the lips. I don’t see a predator. I see an empty soul who has never known what it’s like to be truly loved. The darkness inside envelopes her. She is LOST.
When I see a woman who drinks excessively, smokes, and hangs around the bar pretending she is not crushing on the bartender. Nightly, she abuses her body. She is filling her life with unfulfillable things. She doesn’t know who she is. She doesn’t know how to find herself. I want to take her hand and let her know, there is so much more to life. She seeks FULFILLMENT.
When I see a woman having sex with a different man every night. She can’t commit, nor does she want to. It’s just sex. It doesn’t mean anything. She is fine on her own. It’s better this way. I don’t see a heartless user. I see a woman who has never loved deeply. The love that lifts, turns, and softens. My heart breaks for what she is missing. I want to knock down the walls so she can FEEL.
When I see a woman with an abusive mate. She cowers, she begs, she pleads. She is a trooper at keeping the peace and doing what is expected. I don’t see her weak will. I see a woman who doesn’t know her worth. She doesn’t think she deserves anything better than what she has. She needs to know how precious she truly is. She has VALUE.
When I see a woman with perfect porcelain skin, eyes without wrinkles, and a firm, fit body. She wears designer clothes. She drives a Cadillac. She has everything she needs, and other women envy her, or worship her. Inside, her heart beats like mine, her blood flows through her veins. Her mind thinks and feels just like I do. She is NOT all put together. She is NOT perfect. She is tired. She has no true friends. She bears the upkeep on her back and it weighs two tons. She wishes to relax but her needs and subsistence drive her tirelessly. If only her life could stop. If only she could just let go, and be. She wants to DIE because that would be easier than her life. I want her to know there is vitality that is not attainable through any means, but is joy filled without any appointments. She needs serenity and ACCEPTANCE.
When I see a woman dirty and shuffling. She wears plastic bags on her feet. She carries all her worldly possessions in her handbag with one unbroken strap. She doesn’t have a place she calls home. She lives where her legs will take her and where a light burns bright for her. I don’t see a helpless bum. I see a woman with great grit and determination. She lives proudly in the worst of situations. She is a SURVIVOR.
When I see a young woman bucking the system. She is trouble – fighting, lying, hating. She never does the right thing. Always does the opposite of what is expected. She is conniving and manipulative. I consider the possibility of her turmoil is from abuse. A verbally abusive mother. A controlling Father. Maybe, an unsuspecting neighbor sexually abused her as a child and NO ONE KNOWS. She didn’t tell. She is ANGRY and violated. She wants to strike out at the world. I ACHE for her. Not only is she incredibly tormented but she bears the pain on her own. How twisted and buried it must be. That child is crying inside and needs to be comforted. She needs to know, it wasn’t her fault. She is BLAMELESS.
When I see a woman jealous and hateful. She gossips and gets great pleasure in demeaning her fellow sister. She despises the happiness of others and will think nothing of a cutting remark. I don’t see a bitch. I see a woman terribly unhappy. She is void of empathy. She is withering from lack of light. She is in DARKNESS.
When I see a woman standing on a street corner. She is Looking out from hard eyes, and tough skin. She sways when she walks but she can fight when she needs to, or run. She has been beaten bloody. She has been stoned out of her mind. She has been violated, and torn until she is scarred and broken. Her life is the streets. Waiting for that twenty she can shoot up her veins. I don’t see a hooker junkie. I see a child whose mother abandoned her at age two. I see a lost, frightened little girl, who cried out for her Daddy and received beatings instead. She got lost in the system. No one cared for her. No one raised her. No one loved her. Not then. Not now. Not ever. I see a life that could miraculously change. A change so dramatic when she stood up to tell her story every ear would hear and be astounded. I see someone who God could use. She is SOMEBODY.
When I see a woman all dressed in black. She has black nail polish and hair. She wears chains and nose rings. She has a neck tattoo just above her lace trimmed collar. She is quiet and broody. People tend to give her a wide berth and confused glances. I don’t see a mental case. I see an artistic creation locked inside, lacking the freedom to express her needs and desires. She is passionate, complex, and terribly misunderstood. I want to unlock her chains. I want her to know she can live as uniquely as God made her. She is FREE.
When I see a woman struck down by illness. She has battled fiercely and lost. She is worn out. She has seen every doctor, tried every prescription. She has been betrayed by her body, by her mind. She wishes for well-being but only ends up sicker and sadder. With each failed treatment, depression sets in. Pain ensues. It’s a downward spiral of despair. Her life stops as she is only able to do so much in her weakened state. She loses her family, her job, her will. I don’t see a hypochondriac. I see a woman desperate for faith. I see a woman who needs to know she can be supernaturally healed, if only she will believe it. She is WHOLE.
When I see a woman using foul language. She swears with the best of them, dropping F-bombs, like hydros, hitting targets left and right. I don’t see desecration. I see a woman who watched their week old infant son take his last breath in her arms. I see a woman who was good and proper her whole life, until she had to dig deep to find the strength to survive burying her baby. Her anguish expelled on her lips in short fiery bursts. I would curse too. She MISSES her son. She will always miss him. She HURTS.
You don’t know what ANYONE is going through, or how they got to that point, or where they came from. You don’t know, nor may you ever know. One thing is for sure, there is SOME story. Maybe it’s not any of the above. Maybe it’s not even close. But what if you considered the possibility, and instead of judging, held them deeply with compassion.
Fill yourself up with all the love in your soul and beam it towards these women. SEE THEM. It’s easy to reject what we don’t understand. It’s so hard to embrace when we do.
I humbly ask you, LOVE them. Just love them anyway. That is true unfading beauty.
I have to tell ya’ll, it makes my heart proud that you give me awards. ME? Really?
Seriously, I am just HAPPY to be here. Happy to be a bloggity blog blogger. I am THRILLED you’d offer me these tokens of acknowledgement.
In fact I’m so blown away that I’ve decided today is the day I give back. Not only will I pass on some awards, but I will also be having a GIVEAWAY!!! Yes!!! My FIRST EVER giveaway.
Hey, I just feel generous. What can I say? Feel the love. Reap the rewards.
ONE winner will recieve BOTH prizes below. The winner will be picked randomly by random.org.
$10.00 gift card to Borders
$25.00 Target gift card *no compensation was given, nor am I part of either business*
You don’t have to have a blog or be a blogger to enter. All you have to do is leave a comment. That’s it!
In fact, I’ll open the floor to questions. If there is anything you’d like to know. Ask away. If there is anything you’d like to share. Share away. This is a free-for-all. Share, ask, or just comment.
And let me just say to YOU. THANK YOU! Thank you for commenting. Thank you for following. Thank you for being YOU. I LOVE every comment. I read every one and although I try to respond, sometimes I don’t but believe me, they make me laugh, chort, smile, and just feel REALLY special. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.
Now for the awards.
This is from Jeanice at Journezine. She is in the process of rebuilding the site bigger and better. Go Jeanice! You are amazing and THANK YOU for this. I am so humbled. I don’t feel worthy of such an honor. I contributed two articles if you’d like to check them out in archives.
August 2009- A Father’s Love.
November 2009-A Day in the Life, A Day in the Park.
Um. Guys? You might think I’m a little HAPPY. YES?
This is not a mistake. I recieved the Happy 101 award from SIX bloggers. That is not counting the two previous ones I was given on my 100th post. Eight times I’ve been given the happy. Can I just say…..that makes me VERY HAPPY!!!!!!
I love happy. I do happy. I bounce happy, be happy, am happy.
I am not pretending I promise. I really am THIS happy. Now, during that PMS time of the month (you know). Well I hide. I don’t do UN-happy.
Thanks goes to.
DJ Kirby at Chez Aspie. My wonderful England blogger twitter friend.
Spot at What Passes for Sane on a Crazy Day. The funniest conversationalist I know.
Mrs. Foxy at Foxy Den. She did this award up nice. With an Oscar dress and everything. Woot!
Heather at Welch Happenings. My fellow Texan. Incredibly sweet and down to earth.
Holly at My Bubbled Mess. This girl is so full of heart it overflows in all she says and does to the people in her life she loves. What a blessing it is to know her.
MOTPG at Mom of the Perpetually Grounded. Hers was in a meme but it’s the same as above, so I am adding here. I immediately connected with her because we are both moms of teenagers.
List 10 things that make you happy.
1. Blog Awards.
2. Giveaways.
3 Winning giveaways.
4. Getting to know people.
5. Smiling.
6. Laughing.
7. Singing.
8. My new camera.
9. iPhone.
10. My wedding date being 8 months and 1 week away.
And the award goes to…. I just recently passed this on. But I do want to honor a few happy folks.
Jean at Jean has been shopping. She makes me smile. She makes me laugh. So HAPPY to connect with her.
Just a Mom at The Eyes in the back of my head. Her children made posters saying, “Less Homework. More video games. Signed the Angry Mob”. They posted them all over the neighborhood. Funniest thing EVER.
Stephanie Not the Oxygen, Stephanie is doing love horror stories by guests. I probably shouldn’t laugh, but I have some of those. I can laugh NOW that I have Jason, but man I was there in thick of online dating madness. Ah Steph, you gotta be happy to get through it.
Given to me from Deiala. My dear German friend who says the SWEETEST things about me. I can never repay you for your incredible kindness.
I am passing on to a new blogger who probably won’t know what to do with this and that’s okay!
Square Peg in a Round Hole-New blogger, sister to Suzicate. She writes super funny stories. She has beautiful daughters. I can just relate and laugh at what she writes.
Award from Believe in yourself. Stop by and see Luisa, you will LAUGH WITH DORAZ too.
I have to award this to my friend and NOW blogger. Brooke Brooke Knows Beauty. Does she ever! You have to stop by and read all her wonderful ideas, beauty tips, and beauty advice. I had NO clue. It’s really not just about outward appearance but things you can do with your girls.
Thanks to Wide World of Gary. Dude! (sorry every time I hear sweet- I think of that movie Dude, Where’s my car?). If you’ve seen it you get what I’m talking about. Dude! Sweet!
Please stop by and say Hi to Gary. He is the greatest!
From Purple Hatter. If you love adult humor and fantastic art work (free blog awards). Go see this super talented guy!
PLEASE no one feel obligated to do ANYTHING with these awards. If I missed someone that gave me an award. I am so sorry! Please let me know. I lost my notes and tried to remember.
And don’t forget…ask any question, share anything you like, or just leave a comment to be entered into the giveaway.
I can’t wait to see who wins. That’s the most exciting part. I will announce on WEDNESDAY morning FEB. 10th. On the day my wedding is eight months away. Yipppeee!
When I imagine
the life you will live,
I think of the pleasure
your presence will give.
I see the joy your smile will light
and the wonders you’ll weave
when your dreams take flight.
I feel the hope
that will grow with your grace,
and the difference you’ll make
to each heart you embrace.
I imagine your life
as I know it will be;
for, my daughter, you’ve given
all this to me.
Deck chairs outside the cafeteria.
Loved how the colors turned out, this is a cute little bird.
We didn’t stay in a cottage but this was the stained glass windows on one of them.
What started as a weekend retreat with the women of my Church, turned into a mother/daughter retreat for Sydney and I. We had precious times together. Lots of talks. I won’t go into the sermon series, but I will say it was about unfading beauty. Beauty that is inside. Beauty that is spiritual. Beauty that is in other things besides outward appearance.
What an incredible message for a teenage girl, yes? Let’s just say our “talks” were because all the main prizes that were handed out – or the big ones I should say – were on laser facial treatment for your wrinkles. Spray tanning, mineral make-up, laser hair removal. You get the idea. Um. Yeah.
So we talked about what unfading beauty REALLY MEANS. I thought the message was pretty loud and clear, but then it got muddled a bit. Luckily for us, we are on the same page. My mom was a beauty queen, but she did not teach me outward beauty. I truly believe beauty shines from the inside. All that outside stuff you do is just pursuing what your inside already knows. You are BEAUTIFUL.
That was our weekend. It was entirely too short, but I treasured it. Happy Monday!
When I started blogging, well – quite frankly – I didn’t know what I was doing. I had experience with ONE blogger and that was it. All other blogs were new to me and as foreign as Lithuania. So I tried to model that blog, but make it my own. Ya know? I really fumbled that. At that time, I didn’t know what my blog was about. I didn’t know what I wanted out of it. One thing was for sure, I just wanted to represent me.
The other thing I knew was – I thought I could blog. Hence the URL (above) youthinkyoucanblog (after so you think you can dance, but so was taken- right?). When I began to write, many things came out. My original header was of the mountain peak in Utah outside Salt Lake City. My title was – Just this side of a God Breathed mountain top. I could practically smell the fresh air when I read that. But it also pointed out to me – I’m not ON the God breathed mountain top. I am to the side of it, because I will never be perfect. I am just me. The beauty of God’s work is not lost on me. The mountains, the oceans, the sunsets, and the plains. Truth is, we are all just to the side of any amazing portrait God has painted. To be just to the side and possibly breathed on? Well (maybe I was overthinking it), but I didn’t feel my blog was worthy enough. Scratch that, I didn’t feel it represented what I wanted. A mountain is incredible to look at but what about relate to? I didn’t want my blog to be an unreachable peak.
As time went on, I changed it again. I don’t know. I made many mistakes in my life. Even some of my first blogs have more negativity than I’d like. I’d like to think I’ve grown and reached beyond some of those issues. I have. I’d like to think, my blog wasn’t just about what I was next to or what wonder I would gaze upon, but about everything – from past to present. The good, and the bad. The growing, and the learning. The lessons, and the risks.
One thing I knew for certain was that I blogged about life. And the second thing I blogged most about – was love. And if you know me at all, you know I can’t live life and love without great laughter. It’s usually at myself. Because I’m a goof, a dork, and just all around a crack up. Doesn’t seem to matter if anyone else gets it, since it sends me over the edge of hysterics. The wise old saying that goes,
“Happy is the man who can laugh at himself, for he will never cease to be amused.”
— Unknown
Yeah, that one. That’s me. A constant source of entertainment and delight. I can’t help it. I was the youngest of four. I got lost in the shuffle. I had to entertain myself and I did. With pennies, with M & M’s, straws anything I could pretend were people. They were usually skating. Couple skate and one picked someone out of the line on the wall, usually they were favoring the girl with the pom poms on her skates, but I digress….
I thought LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH. That’s me! Then I realized, it’s a present thing with me. Not just doing it one time, but my life is a constant flow of it. Living, Loving, Laughing…..
The NAME of my blog was born. Wait, I should say the permanent name of my blog was born. And no, it doesn’t match my URL. But I sorta like that. It keeps me grounded to the fact of WHY I started. Because I could. To WHY I continue. Because my life means something and I want to record those moments, and those memories from my heart and soul. Not just for me, but for my family. And maybe to help someone else out, by inspiring or just being real.
I’d like think in the last 100 posts in the last seven months – my blogging has evolved. I am more experienced. Creativity bloomed. And most importantly, I learned to let my guard down and reach out. I comment. I link. I join. Not because I want a gazillion followers who hang on my every word. Not at all. Actually, it’s because I am enamored by the bloggers out there. I am fascinated. I love to connect. I love to meet. I would spend all day reading about their lives if I could. It wouldn’t matter to me if they returned the favor or not.
Of course, if they did, then I might actually get to know them which would be super ideal because that is my ultimate goal. To know you. I have seen God put very significant people in my life. I know they are there for a reason. I wouldn’t have met them otherwise.
It is truly amazing. Like I said in my about me, I am just happy to be here. I hope you are too.
This post was previously written a few weeks ago. My daughter Sydney and I are currently at Camp Hoblitzelle for a womens retreat. I HEART iPhone. This is a great campground. We are in a hotel room type building. Our room holds three other women besides us, another mom and her two daughters. I can’t wait to take pictures out here. It’s incredibly gorgeous. I’m looking forward to talks and walks with Sydney as well. Although, I may not agree with everything presented and talked about here……I have great people to openly discuss and hear different sides in peaceful ways. I have uplifting women all around me. For now, I bid you adeiu from the chilly countryside, wishing you the best weekend ever. Enjoy!
Thanks to Karen at A Peek at Karen’s World. I am taking part in this week’s confession Wednesday. Thanks Karen!
I must confess. I love my puppy Anna. She is sweet. She is snuggly. She is almost two years old now, and finally, FINALLY getting past ALL the puppy stages. She has been EXTREMELY difficult to train, to calm down, and to adapt to, since she is a Greyhound and not a Lab.
Don’t look at me like that Anna. You are a GREYHOUND, not a Lab. Raising your eyebrows at me won’t change that fact. Also, Salem is not your “real” mommy but she loves you like her own. She does. You are very lucky.
Anna this morning I was NOT happy with you. It was NOT okay.
Don’t look at me all shocked. What did you do Anna? It’s disturbing. Waking up at 6am, to the permeated stench of poo, which in my sleepy haze thought was just a horrible case of dog farts.
It wasn’t until 645am when the smell brought me straight outta bed. Stronger. OH MY LORD, what’s that SMELL?? Uuuuughh….then I realize…..someone had an accident. Since it wasn’t a human household member, it must be a pup. Sydney..shame on you for thinking it was ME when you went down the hall to the laundry room and past my shut door catching the scent. I NEVER thought it was YOU.
I was fearful to look into your crate, as I should have been, it was a mess. Oh P-yew! I let you out. Assessed the damage. Poor girl had covered up most of it with your only blankie. You were in the middle of the crate most of the night, sitting straight up, in the only clean spot. I let you out THREE times before bed, dangit!
It wasn’t hard to clean, but gross as heck. THANK YOU PETMATE for making an extremely durable home that was easy to clean. I totally became a fan on Facebook. A lot of bleach and a roll of paper towels with each smeared wad carefully placed, one by one, into a plastic grocery sack. Tied up tight and put in the trash in the garage. Blankie went into the wash, with bleach and hot water and lots, and lots of soap. I washed my hands a 100 times.
I hope you didn’t mind the babywipe bath. Best I could do, and you really did well not to get it all over you. Just one little spot. You smell really nice with the doggie perfume I had handy.
I confess, I was not happy with you Anna. But it was me that bought the meat filled treat bone night before last. Sorry it didn’t sit so well. My bad.
I must confess….I have the most beautiful daughter in the world (at least I think so). Just look at her. But sweetie? I still HATE driving with you. I don’t offer the wheel, like EVER, unless I feel extremely guilty for not helping you learn to drive.
I just get so stressed out, hitting the imaginary brake, and heaving myself against the side door when you back up punching the gas, not turning the wheel, shooting straight out of a parking space with CARS parked behind us. Ahhhhh!
Deep breaths. Listen, I know. I can relate. I am a terrible driver. Remember yesterday morning at school, I stopped on the crosswalk, without realizing it, blocking the handicap ramp. I watched in horror as the boy in the wheel chair rolled up and couldn’t get past me to go to school. To my extreme shame, I couldn’t MOVE. Cars in front, and cars in back. See, I really shouldn’t be your teacher.
I don’t know how parents survive this, but I am told we do. It would greatly help me if your dad were around. Please understand. I don’t hate you. I hate the system and the learning process. Plus you can’t help that you are blond, it’s genetics.
But I promise to do better. I swear. You will be a good driver (and me too). I will fulfill my parental duty. Love you mean it!
He lives in my head. He’s insane, scary, mutant, and ugly. He’s been living in my head the last week. Ahhhhh!!!!
Okay, it’s really a COLD in my head, but it was so much more fun to call it a clown. Don’t ya think?
IMM Clown arrived wearing his funny shoes. He had orange lapels, with a sequin black and white vest. What can I say? He has a passion for fashion. His first trick was a deep rumble in my chest. It was like a freight train was coming out of my throat. I tried to cough him out, but no luck.
Then my clown decided to turn on the funhouse faucets of my nose. Drip, drip, sniffle, snort. The SOUNDS he made. OMG! Most embarrassing of all was when I went to buy cold medicine at CVS. Laughingly he cranked the faucet as I was punching in my ATM code. No amount of sucking that sniff with all my might helped. I still dripped in front of the clerk. The horror!
That’s when I knew he was evil and that he had to go. I brought out the big boys. NyQuil and Mucinex to kick the stuffing out that clown. To show him who is boss. This wasn’t a three ring circus. Well that showed him alright.
Except…..we didn’t realize he was a MORPHING MUTANT. Yeah. He morphed to something like half his size. Climbed up into a sinus crevice behind my eye. Right next to my BRAIN (whimper). He proceeded to beat his drum, not the snare, but the big booming bass.
It vibrated through my noggin’ on the entire right side of my head. Dizzy, nauseous, and miserable. I had a feeling this clown was trying to bring me down. Break my spirit. Make me not happy. HA.
I showed him. Sydney, Jason, and I went to a movie. The Book of Eli. Good show. How do you like them apples clown?
Well, he doubled his efforts. Playing Rock Band like it was the end of the song and he was banging away for the bonus points. That was a mean trick. Then, he piled into his tiny clown car doing wheelies, and honking the horn over and over. Ahhh! That is likely to make a person beg for mercy and leave work early.
I went to the clown exorcist. He worked his mojo magic. Clown scrabbled. He morphed. He mutated and I think his head spun around three times. When the exorcist sent the steroid heads in. He knew he was doomed. Just look at em’.
They are mighty. They mean business flexing their pecs and they are out to annihilate the clown man. Funny they look familiar?
ANYWAYS, they brought their arsenal.
Clowns HATE pink antibiotics missiles that run them down in their clown car. And they really, really don’t like nasal tear gas.
You are smoke buddy.
Say good-bye. No more insane morphing mutant clown in my head. I am finally horizontal and ready to face the world again. It was a doozy of a ride and not funny at all. Clowns stink.
If you decide to come back, making it a sequel, be prepared. My roid friends are close at hand. Cue Terminator music. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun.
On a personal note- The last few days, I have only read blog posts sporadically from my iPhone while I was waging war with the clown in vertical position. Now that I’m back in the land of the living – sane (ahem). I’ll be by soon. Can’t wait to see what’s been going on in your lives.
Oh and for those who missed it. Insane Morphing Mutant Clown = cold. Doc + medicine = Cold eradicator. Yay! And yes this is very silly, but I am SO HAPPY to be feeling better.
Let me count the ways……but first, would you care to join me for dinner?
I don’t want to be rude…….
Fantastic red wine, and a scrumptious salad from the local Italian joint. Mmmmmmm. Yummy, now where was I? Oh yeah.
Why I <3 Facebook, let me count thy ways. Yonder my true love waiteth on thee application of thine interest.
Whoops. I suppose I should start with why this is coming out tonight, rather than waiting until Valentines Day. Heck, I figured if the stores could start putting out Valentines stuff after New Year's, then I could tell my story weeks before Valentines Day. Besides, single people need to know. I need them to know.
My workmates were accusing me of not being able to keep up with my friends on Facebook. ME?? I talk to EVERYONE. Okay maybe not all of them, but I’d like to think – I know what’s going on. Some of the time anyway.
I have 600 friends. This is a snapshot of my profile. I have added who the six randomly displayed are in captions.
Now, before you get all judgy on me, that I couldn’t possibly know that many people. I’ll admit. I don’t. But the potential to know them is there. If I were not friends with them, the potential to know them is gone. I would have zero interaction and zero chance of it. Make sense?
And I can hear you now…how can you be friends with strangers? Keep reading, you’ll see. It’s really not so different from blogging or making friendships in person.
From the display pic above, I know all of them except for one. Scratch that, I’ve met in person all but two of them. Cheryl and the question mark guy. That guy, I’m not sure who he is, but according to his profile. He is single. Most likely I became friends with him through this app.
Except back in my usage day, the pic was a smiley face.
Here is what the info says for this application.
Are You Interested? is the leading social dating app to meet new friends. Click YES on people you like and find out who likes YOU!
Basically, a picture comes up tells you what state they are in and maybe some profile information. You click yes or no. They get notified. Then, your picture, and brief info comes up to them. They can then click yes or no. Yes is a match and goes in a certain place, so you can see those who LIKE you. Whooppee! From there it’s up to you what you do. Add them as a friend. Send them a message. Poke them. Or even forget it. You can even change your yes to no (do they know women or what?).
In all seriousness, this is mostly for fun. Because there is a LOT of weeding. Liars. Married guys. Turkey grooms (as in the country). Nuts. As long as you don’t take it too seriously, or get too offended. By being turned down, or grossed out by someone like Fester Adams clicking yes on you. It’s just FUN. If it’s not fun, for gosh sakes, don’t do it.
I became a member of Facebook somewhere around May 2007. I was invited by my Canadian girlfriend Michelle. At the time we were online friends from ediets. Later that year, we met in person at a thirty-something ediets get together in Ohio. We dubbed it Girls gone Wild – GGW. That weekend all she could do was talk about Facebook this, and Facebook that. And shut up already! Ha, love you Belle, but she must have got to me. When I got back home, I started using my Facebook account for serious.
I did what I do. I play with it until I figure it out. I obsessed. I was hooked. The games, the fun, the many different people from all walks of life. Some extremely interesting. Some not. Sometime later that year, I got my laptop.
I got on Christian Mingle. I used the message boards (except the Theology board-whatever you do- DON’T go there-shudder) to get to know people, rather than profile shopping. The relationships and dating board, he said, she said, and many more. Good people just having fun talking about anything. It’s really a much better way of getting to know someone by their interactions with others. Over 200 of my Facebook friends are Christian Minglers. Over a 100 of those, I have actually met in person. Making connections was easy because of my openness.
Now, that’s my Facebook and online history in a nutshell. I’ve been online a LONG time. I’ve been on Facebook a LONG time. I know everyone who is a friend, if not from school, work, Church or in person – then at least how I became friends with them and from which application. I cherish them all. I am interested in what they do and have to say.
Which brings me to the WHOLE point – some of you know – Jason was on Facebook in the early days. The days that myspace was all that and a bag o’ chips. I didn’t have one, neither did he. I had Facebook. People would say, “Facebook WHAT? That’s just for college kids.” I’d always add, “And Canadians! Who are way ahead of the United States. You wait, and see.”
Hmmm, Can I get an I told you so? My Mom has a Facebook. Myspace? (what?) Can’t hear ya now…but I digress.
My days on Are you interested? began around fall 2007, after my divorce. I was especially nice some days, and friendly. I clicked yes on everyone. I even clicked yes on a picture of UT (not even their face) which is INSANE because I am Boomer Sooner. ANYWAYS, that guy ended up being married although he posed as single. JERK! No picture? They are married! Please single people, use your common sense. But don’t be too paranoid either.
Some days I clicked no on everyone. Rather harshly I might add. Two time divorcee, it’s an ugly place to be and I’ll freely admit. I had guy issues. Mkay?
So Jason’s picture comes along, somewhere around Spring 2008. I was extra happy that day. I see this.
You know what I really see? A smiling person. Now he could be 300lbs, super hairy, wearing a pocket protector in the rest of that picture, but he was smiling. My ex #2 NEVER smiled in pics. He was Italian mobster cool, handsome, a tough guy, who would show no emotion. I clicked YES on Jason’s beaming smile. Who cared about the rest.
I don’t know if I added him as a friend, or he added me. Some days I was brave and added anyone, and everyone. Some days I didn’t. However it happened, and neither of us can remember. We became friends. At the time, it didn’t mean much. Anyone in your city had access to all of your Facebook page. Nothing was private. I could see his pictures. He could see mine. I got his status updates, and he got mine. Back then you couldn’t comment on status updates like you do now. You had to send a message and there was no chat. Friending someone was more of way of saying, I’d like to get to know you better.
We played games; wrestling, scrabble, friends for sale and (lil) green patch. We’d send Starbucks, hearts, and play quizzes. You get the idea. Banter, fun, and frolic.
His pictures were nice, but few. He wasn’t 300lbs but he looked short (from what I could tell). Cute girls (just babies). Nice house, that he had just bought. He told me right away he was separated and going through a divorce. My heart broke for him and his little children. Having just been through a divorce and many DivorceCare sessions. I knew all to well the pain of it. I was still raw myself, but not nearly as fresh and tender as his wound was. She wanted the divorce not him, that always makes it harder to get over.
He knew he needed time before he would date. I knew it too. Friends we could do. Come to find out, as we messaged off and on, out all the people from all over the world on, Are you interested? Jason lived 6 miles from me. What are the odds?
It never crossed my mind to meet him. We were just friends. I did meet a few other guys from, Are you interested? Yeah, they turned out to be REAL duds. Even worth some horror story post some day. God blessed the broken road. I figured them out quick. The signs were all there. If you don’t let yourself get wrapped up in the petty things (they’re so cute, sexy, funny, attentive, tall) then you’ll catch on to them. Have faith in yourself. Use your guts and instincts. If you have reservations, there is a reason.
Obviously Jason and I eventually met. That’s a story for another post. Come to find out, there are many Are you interested? success stories. How cool is that? I’ll have to submit ours.
My point, resulting from the conversation today about all my so called “friends” is this…. I would have never met so many great people had I not reached across cyber space and added them as friends. Like Jason. My love. My light. My incredible partner, supporter, and dear, dear friend.
I would have never met, Sandy. She is like a sister to me. I met her this last fall. She was a Christian Mingle buddy from the message boards, that I became friends with on Facebook after I left Mingle. There are many others the same way. Patty Lynn, Anita, Clyde, Stephen, Becky, Mary Lou, Shane, Bob and many, many more.
I opened my life to the possibility of new friendship way before the time of real “social networking”. It paid off in the greatest reward of all. My future husband. Think about that.
To this day, it’s the gift that keeps on giving. I make new friendships, and open heart doors all over. Twitter. Blogging. Catalogs, and clubs. It’s like God’s front porch. Along comes someone that he sweeps up to sit next to you on a rocking chair. Maybe you are little surprised and standoffish. You move back and forth sharing your banter watching the world go by, sipping some ice tea.
Next thing you know, they are an old familiar friend. You don’t know how you lived without them, and you can’t imagine how in the big wide world you ever even met them. How? When the world is so big, and we are so small. It had to be divine. Had to be.
My friends, if you are not social networking in a decade of social networking, you are missing it. Go see what it’s all about. It’s not just spam, and sales. You just might be surprised. Give it time. I didn’t start with 600 friends, nor did I start with more than 5 twitter followers. Be patient. Be open. You might meet someone that changes your life. Or maybe, you yourself, might change someone’s life.
Jason, thank you for smiling your way into my interested heart. I am interested. I am so interested. Interested in our life now, and interested in our future life. Oh, how I adore you. I am so glad you stopped to chat on my front porch. I am so glad I wasn’t afraid to share, who I was with you, and the online world. What I would have missed.
For all you fanatics – all things wedding – just launched wedding website http://jasonandangelia.com. This will be updated as we go along.
What’s your online story? And why haven’t you added me as a friend?
Disclaimer-I have dated off and on online since 1998. To this date, no crazy has stalked me-well for long anyway-harmed me or my child in any way. Not saying it couldn’t happen, or wouldn’t happen. Just saying, it didn’t happen to me.
First off, your kindness overwhelms me. Your desire to serve, please, and honor me when night falls…well, that’s just dear, and meaningful. I think…..I love you. Oh! I hope we don’t get all uncomfortable now. I really need you. And I hate being needy and clingy. PLEASE! Stay with me (just for tonight). Please?
I promise to uphold my end of the deal.
When I see this face – I swear – no matter how cute, I will not cuddle with her when she has a cold. I won’t sit close enough for her fingers to reach my mouth, nor her wet coughs to spray on me.
Come on, Ny! It’s hard to resist. I am giving up a lot for you. This relationship means something to me. Something really special or I wouldn’t even bother.
I swear, even when her nose is running, temperature spiking, and cough hacking. I will resist the urge to hug her close and get her germs. I won’t have those pudgy arms around my neck. I won’t pick her up at her pleading request. I won’t.
Especially after she runs a fever off and on all weekend. Feeling puny, and even throwing up. I won’t kiss her. Laws no! I won’t. Because I know that would make me sick, and compromise our relationship. Seriously? That cuteness. No power. I am mighty.
But maybe that’s what you want. Maybe, that’s how you keep me near you. I am so confused. Could you be trying to keep us together, when I really need to go my own way?
Just please NyQuil do your thing. So I can go to work tomorrow, instead of sitting here like this.
Love me,
Your faithful friend, the head cold.
P.S. Please don’t be jealous of macho Mucinex D tomorrow. It’s strictly a fling! I’m totally using him.
The truth hurts. I am going to give it to you straight. You were suckered my friend. You were blindsided, and betrayed by sweet little girls wearing green outfits with sashes. Sashes with badges and pins. I can practically see them swirling and twirling as a lure.
Those rosy cheeks, those twinkling eyes, and sunlit smiles. You didn’t even know what hit you, did you? One second you were walking into the grocery store – next thing you know – you are back in your car with six boxes of cookies stacked next to you on the passenger seat. You have no idea, right?
The delicious minty goodness of Thin Mints. The mouth numbing madness of Peanut Butter Patties. The oh-so-chewy sweet Samoas. The crunchy Peanut Buttery Sandwiches from heaven. Let’s not even talk about the sugar melting Short Bread, and the fudge fountain of Thanks-A-Lot (yeah, thanks A LOT). Don’t even look for the low fat brands. They aren’t there. Go ahead, bow your head shamefully, and while you’re there wipe the sweat off. Pathetic.
I’ll tell you this. You are two seconds away from breaking your New Year’s resolution. That is, if you’ve made it this far already. Go ahead, open up a box. One won’t hurt. You believe that? I’ll tell you another one. But I think you get my point. Stop shaking and gripping your fists. Those girls got you. They got you.
Don’t try to breathe through it. It’s done. No you can’t take them back!?!? Are you mad? Do you want to DIE? Besides, you’re busted. Go home. Make some coffee or milk. Fight this battle another day. The super hero has left the building. The enemy has landed.
You can run, but you can’t hide. Now that you’ve seen them. You will see them EVERYWHERE. Malls, sidewalks, parks, and even at your office. It’s like those illusion drawings. They appear magically, then there is no erasing them again. You know what they look like. They will come for you. Tempting you, with their sweet faces, and silent begging eyes.
You think shutting your eyes will help? Maybe you won’t see them, but you will hear their musical giggles. Will you please buy some cookies, cookies, cookies? It’s an echo. You are worse off than I thought. You actually believed in resolutions? Huh. Don’t you remember last year? You thought they were starting the sales earlier than ever before. Wasn’t it usually Valentines day? End of January instead – REALLY? And now look at the date. Mid-January! Your suspicions were correct.
You’ve got to tell someone, sure, but who? Who would believe the evil plot is to topple all healthy eating resolutions in one mass swoop? Who would believe those cute girls with their pig tails in green ribbons, skipping along with enough mouth candy to end a starving country’s fast was really behind it all? And not just to make money either, but to spit on our resolutions, and grind them under their little patent shoe feet. They are still laughing aren’t they?
The fact that the sales are starting earlier? It’s just a slap in the face. Little egos getting the best of our addictions. Girl Scout Cookies. Once a year. AFTER NEW YEARS.
The agony!!!
Hey, where did the cookies go? The Peanut Butter Patties?
GASP!
They are gone. You ate them. Every one. Every crumb. All four rows. Listen to me. Drive away. Drive away now. Drive away as fast as you can. Don’t let them see you this way. Please!! I’m begging.
Don’t get out of the car. Save your dignity. You still have a chance. They can smell weakness. They can smell desperation. Don’t do it!
Get your goods right here. Cookies, cookies, cookies!
The internet and the world is talking about Haiti. The epic center Port-Au-Prince, the lives lost, and the insurmountable damage from a 7.0 earthquake. The world is captivated and shaken, just like the country. Haiti has the attention of the media, and many, many support and aid groups. Donations are pouring in.
I, for one, am glad. Yes, glad. Glad for the support, but deeply saddened it took this tragic event. I know the devastation, and lives lost are not replaceable. People are homeless, sick and in desperate need, now more than ever before. It is terrible. But listen, Haiti has needed help long before now. Haiti has cried for attention that it never got for YEARS AND YEARS. Finally, they are getting their saving grace. Finally, they are getting the help they need. Finally, we are paying attention.
Over twelve years ago, I became a travel agent to a company called, Simeus Foods. They are owned and operated by a man called, Dumas Simeus born and raised in Haiti.
You can see his biography here. Against all odds, he became a successful business owner and true to his roots, he gave back to where he started. I helped with a lot of the travel arrangements, and fundraisers for the foundation Sove Lavi. His admin Vanessa even brought me a card and some coffee from Haiti. Thanking me for help with getting volunteers flight arrangements, in and out of Haiti, to help with the clinic. A work she was very passionate about.
It was such an honor for me. I knew more than most about the story of the Haitians – their history. The hardships they faced. The hard, hard life they endured. Mr. Simeus was in the running for presidency at one time, but his stint in the US prevented it from being official. Impassable political road blocks. It was during a time of great rebellion and corruption. Haiti has always had extreme difficulties. I believe he would have impacted the country in a great way, which is why he was probably disqualified.
I remember talking to Vanessa on the phone one day. She was upset, very upset. One of the villages they worked to assist had been wiped out by a flood. The entire village washed away in the blink of an eye. Families she had worked with, children they had schooled, and given medical care to. In an instant, gone. She was heartbroken. What upset her the most, not one single media outlet reported the story. Not one. It was incredibly sad, and she was helpless to the lack of sympathy. Helpless to the forgotten need of a people she dearly loved.
Today, that story is fresh in my mind, as if I talked to her yesterday. Today, the world feels the pain she felt. The world knows the hardship, and the loss – the heartbreaking loss – of life. I am in no way happy this happened to them. But I am grateful for the support they are getting. I have heard more than one person mention, how do I get an orphan? The aftershocks will change many Haitian lives, in a uplifting way.
As we watch the world come together. Hearts are united. The people are cared and prayed for as never before. Their cries are finally heard. To me, that is a saving grace. A deserving mercy. There are many ways you can help. Our Church is working through World Vision. Both websites have donations. Obviously Red Cross as well.
I donated by text. I recently found out from many bloggers, and other ads that by using your mobile phone to text “Haiti” to 90999, you can immediately donate $10 to the Red Cross International Response Fund. The charge shows up on your next month’s phone bill. It is very easy and simple. It was $10.00 dollars. We drop that in the bucket all the time on nothing.
Do this today, unite with the world.
Update-After I wrote this post, I found Vanessa through the foundation. This is the news I heard from her.
Our hearts are heavy. So many people have died and more are hurting and dying. Most of our friends and the Simeus family have been safely accounted for and there was no damage to the clinic or home in the countryside. We suspect that Mr. Simeus’ mom’s home in the city is lost, but no confirmation at this time. Very little communication.
As the presidents said on CNN this morning, the best way to help right now is cash. I am recommending Red Cross, Catholic Relief Services, HAS Hospital (www.hashaiti.org/C1a_w1.html) which is treating earthquake victims, or our charity (www.sovelavi.org) which is also operating now on the ground in Haiti.
Rejoice. Joy comes in the morning. Many lives will be inspired from this great tragedy, whether it’s from giving or receiving. Pray for help and healing of a country most deserving. Pray and be moved by their saving grace.
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***Updated with captions, rude of me to assume you know***
Nope, not here. Not me. These are a few of my first shots with my new DSLR camera (aka new baby). I can’t wait to dive into photo classes, but I have to admit the lighting at Jason’s house is phenomenal. Enjoy the photos. Happy Friday!
Sydney Elizabeth, my fifteen year old daughter
Molly, Jason’s oldest daughter age 5.
Bridget- Jason’s youngest. Age 3
Bridget’s million watt smile.
My puppy (who is now almost two years old) Anna. She is still my baby puppy.
Salem Dixie Elizabeth- 7 years old. This dog is my heart. She is precious to me. And she is still my baby too.
Molly in her Dora tube. Can you guess what she is? She is a tiger! Grrr!
Bridget and her gorgeous eyes and skin.
Molly and Sydney 10years and 10days apart. The reason for our 10-10-10 wedding date.
The girls. They LOVE doing silly faces. I laugh hysterically at them. Thank goodness the camera was on a tripod.
What do you think? Is it the new camera? Or the subjects?
Tale of the wump lump bumps is a behind the scenes look at what was happening during, and after my 100th post. I’ve been having the itchies on and off since the end of May. The original wump lump was on the inside of my wrist. I thought when I moved some boxes around in my garage, I got bit by a spider. It swelled up like a goose egg. Then it magically disappeared. Strange!
Off and on after that, these wump lump bumps would rear their ugly head, itch madly, then leave without a word. What in the world? I became friends with them. Prayed they weren’t scabies or some other microscopic friend. As long as they packed their humps and headed off to wump lump land of a thousand mounds. I just didn’t care. And they did. Bye, bye, bye!
That is until a week ago……
This rude inconsiderate wump decided to pitch a tent on the back of my shoulder. The NERVE! Dude! Not only that, but he must have been pretty darn trashy because he ITCHED, and ITCHED, and ITCHED! Ouch!!!! The girls at work took this pic with my iPhone. Their faces were twisted in horror. Was I turning into a leper?
Now earlier in the day, it’s twin brother camped behind my EAR. That wasn’t nice. So now, he has moved on and the double mint wump lump comes up on my back. I go to Jason’s after work. My little lumpy intruder has decided to go all boomer land run and claim more of my SKIN! The lump wump bump grows up my back and neck. I could not even turn my head to the right it was so swollen. This picture is later the same night.
Now, I am very healthy. I have been blessed with very little ailments. Even if I get a cold (once or twice) every few years, it’s not too bad. I can name on one hand the bad sicks I’ve had. When I got viral food poisoning from raw oysters. When I got a terrible chest cold coughing so bad – and so long – I cracked a rib. It took a steroid inhaler to cure it. And until THIS, those were the worst things I have ever had to deal with.
I had no idea what was going on here because, normally, the wump lumps went home. Happy sated and rested up from their vacation. But these, they were getting angry, growing hot, and out of control. No amount of cream, nor Bendaryl, would appease them. I even tried CHOCOLATE – the cure all to end all. Of course that made me happy. Them? Not so much.
Then the wump lump junk impregnated my forearms. Either that, or the family got a divorce. They started out the size of mosquitoes, but they grew. These grew abnormally fast. They graduated (remarried) in an hour, turned 21 within two, gave birth to multiples of multiples. Now I think they are expecting grand wumps, or they opened a school of itch.
Um, ouch? I took two more Benadryl and crashed at Jason’s. He didn’t want me to leave. What if my insides swelled up? What if I stopped breathing? Who would know? No one, that’s who. And scarily enough, something very similar happened to my best friend from high school’s husband of twenty years. He broke out in hives and within hours ALMOST died. He was saved by the fact that she knew something was horribly wrong and got him to the emergency room – barely in time. I’m not kidding, it was a close call. And what was it? An allergic reaction. To what? Who knows? See! Scary stuff.
I promised him if I still had the village of the wump lump bumps torching my place the next morning, I would GLADLY go to the doctor.
Here I am at the doctors office the next morning. This lump wump bump really outdid himself. He must have feasted all night because he grew the entire length and width of the inside of my forearm. This is just ONE arm. The other forearm didn’t want to be left out. It had it’s own wump lump sump monster. Both were a nice shade of purple red. Both were firecracker hot, and did I mention they itch? Horribly.
The doctor was pretty stunned. They administered a steroid shot. He promised I’d feel halfway normal within an hour or two. I did. Thank GOD. The wump lump forearm twins faded to purple. See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.
I wore long sleeves. I never wear long sleeves. I am always hot, but believe me it was better if the remains were covered up. Give the family some time to grieve in private. The wump lump bumps were heading to heaven (I hoped).
Like any normal survivor of the wump lump bumps, I decided to go shopping. I know, right? I bought this.
Nikon D3000 with the additional 55m-200m lens, a camera case, a tripod, and a warranty for when I drop it. I got free photo classes thrown in, because this is SOME kind of camera. Oh it’s completely user friendly, but there is so much more to it, if I can learn the manual settings as well.
As for the wumpy lumpy bumpy junkys? Well, I haven’t seen them. But I feel them every day. They ITCH. Still. My skin turns red. It’s like I stepped in fire ant pile. Burning, and itching to no end. Still wearing long sleeves helps, but any kind of elastic fires off the rash of 1,000 bites. Of course, I have no explanation for why my head itches. I finally broke down the other night shaking, and weeping. Thank God for Jason’s arms and his reassurance. He was right there, holding me, and letting me cry. Because after a week of itching and burning, I could take no more.
I have been on steroids to keep their little nasty selves off of me. I take Benadryl at night to ease some of the discomfort of itching. Yesterday at work, I had to leave early. I clawed my chest up. It hurts to itch. Stress seems to magnify the nerve endings.
I am seeing the doctor this afternoon. It is probably my Thyroid they are trying to get working (not working) properly from the Grave’s Disease. We knew it wouldn’t be easy. I am grateful that I know what it’s like to feel like an alien. I have met many people with skin diseases. I get it now. It’s not fun.
It’s the most uncomfortable thing in the world. So, if I haven’t been by your blog like usual. This is why. My fingers are itching, or I’m in la la land from the Benadryl. And if you see the wump lump clan? Tell them to take a hike. Preferably to the land of no return.
What better way to celebrate my 100th post, than to proudly display my awards in all their glory. It’s a parade of wonder. It’s a parade of fun. It’s a parade of blogs and thanks and cheers all around. I am sure I did not properly follow the rules by hoarding them to my 100th post. I apologize, since these are my FIRST bloggy awards ever, I hope you let me slide.
I am so blessed by the blogging community. By the wonderful bloggies I have met and the future bloggies I will meet. You are all precious to me! Your stories, your hearts, your laughter, and your love, each unique, each astounding. I am awed by your talent and contribution to all things blogging. But most especially, for being so supportive of me. I am excited about our future blogging and where our blogs will go.
And now, without further delay, begin drums, blow the horns, and commence marching!
This was my very first blog award. Presented to me by a very talented artist. Not only is she brilliant in paint and prose, but she is one of the sweetest, caring hearts I’ve ever met. Thank you Bliss Bait.
The rules are to pass on to 15 people. In no particular order, these are the blogs I’ve read the longest on a daily basis. Links open a new window.
1. Jessica, Booshy. Real life told with the crass we all think (don’t deny). She cracks me up with all that happens to her. Great stuff! (if you don’t mind some curse words).
2. Josie, Yum Yucky . My foodie friend. Her greediness makes me feel normal. Her posts are so creatively funny and informative.
3. Lance, Jungle of Life. What a HUGE inspirer he is. Everywhere he goes, he leaves happiness and light as footsteps. You can’t help but be affected by him and his blog.
4. Peggy, Serendipity Smiles. Peggy’s real life journey of overcoming, not just reaching the top, but coming out swinging and kicking her way to a black belt in life and love. Incredible! Not to mention, a best-selling writer in my book.
5. Wilma and Ann-Marie, Wilma’s Blog. Women living life differently. Inspiring women to change the norm, and really understand how to make a difference. The posts and comments are worth reading again and again. What great works they do.
6. Mindy, The Suburban Life. Witty, interesting, and fun. I love reading her days. I love how she writes.
7. Emily, A Sacrifice of Praise. When I need some soul food from the Bible. I go here. What devotion she instills in everyday life.
8. Peedee, Queen of the Dogs. My Floridian friend with labs that I love and a Cowboys fan too! She is a riot and a kid at heart like me.
9. Weezer, Weezer’s Haven. Life stories past, and present. Adorable grand babies, giveaways, and interesting info. She is dear to me and I love her dragonflies.
10. Heather, Welch Happenings. I love her laid back life with never a dull moment. She has dial-up in the sticks and still she blogs and comments. That is true dedication.
11. Peggy (again), The Step Mom’s Toolbox. She has been a Godsend to me as I step carefully (and fearfully) towards the wonderful world of step motherhood (aka-the hardest job in the world). Without her, and her resources, I’d be lost.
12. My kashi, My Kashi Diet. A journey to weight loss. A journey to self. A very dear person, I support whole heartedly. She has been absent and I do miss her.
13. Jenera, Just me. Don’t let her fool you. This girl has great courage and takes life ON. She is accomplishing dreams and has done more this year than I have in many years with two small children in tow and a husband on the road. Amazing!
14. Jenny, Flying Icarus. Fun spirited, happy, and beautiful. I love to laugh with her. She has been absent lately too, and I think she needs some bloggy love.
15. Spot, What passes for sane on a crazy day. Great writer. Her conversations with her family are so funny. I think we can all relate to the “non-normalcy” in our own kind of way.
No you are not seeing double. I got two awards – thanks to Suzicate, The Water Witch’s Daughter and Heather, Welch Happenings.
Thank you both!! I enjoy reading your daily entries about your life.
Rules are to share seven traits about yourself and pass it on.
1. Stubborn.
2. Loyal.
3. Compassionate.
4. Giving.
5. Friendly.
6. Positive.
7. Happy. (yes, this is really how I am)
Since it’s 2010, and it’s a 2009 award I have chosen not to pass it on.
Blog award fail. In my defense, I just noticed it said 2009.
Hey, there’s no crying in parades unless you’re scared of clowns. On we go to my next award. She is a purdy one!
From Weezer, Weezer’s Haven.. She awarded this to me the week my Dad died. It was sweet in more ways than you know to receive when I needed it the most. By the way stop by and congratulate her for stopping smoking. I believe it’s been about three months.
Rules are to tell 10 things about myself that may or may not be common knowledge, then pass it on.
1. I’m the youngest of four children. I was such a brat growing up my two older brothers figured out the only way to stop me from tattling was to make me do what they were doing. This included chewing tobacco, and taking a drag off a cigarette. I couldn’t tell anymore, because I did it too. They were scary smart.
2. My step dad was a computer programmer and college professor. He instilled in me a curiosity of gadgets. I love all things technology and am eager to figure them out. I have a new toy I just got. I am so pumped! It’s going to be revealed very soon!
3. I was on Facebook when it was still mainly for college kids.
4. I have traveled to Mexico, Canada, Aruba, Jamaica, Grand Cayman, Bahamas, Puerto Rico, St Thomas, St John, Dominican Republic, and all over the USA with all of California being one of my favorites (so far). But I really want to visit Seattle.
5. I moved to Dallas, Texas a few months after I turned 18 years old. I lived on my own without any help from my parents (ever). I worked hard and earned my way by working 40+ hours a week.
6. I am named after my Uncle Angel, but my big sister wanted to name me Leah. Mom got creative and named me Angelia. However, I grew up being called Angie.
7. I love talking and learning about people and their lives.
8. Jason asked me to marry him December 18, 2009. Although I’ve been married twice, this was my first real proposal on bended knee with a ring.
9. My daughter Sydney is the coolest, most beautiful 15yr old daughter in the world. I still pinch myself not believing that she is not a “normal” teen and wondering how I got so lucky when I was such a bad one.
10. I have worked in the travel industry for over twenty years. I still love it.
A new friend whose story of her baby son touched my soul, Kellene, Remembering Leo. Bring your hankie and honor this sweet boy.
To one of my first readers to say, “I LOVE your blog and it is the highlight of my day.” That really warmed my heart. Thank you so much. You deserve this more than you know.
Belleringer, Stadium of my heart.
A wonderful mother and blogger who just recently went on a trip to New York City with her adorable children. Jen, Post Modern Jen.
And the last blog that gives me the warm fuzzies, Mommy Bear, The Bear Bunch, great photos and giveaways, plus who doesn’t love bears.
1. List 10 things that make you happy.
2. Try to do at least one thing on the list today.
3. List 10 bloggers who brighten your day.
4. Those of you to whom I give this award are to link back to my blog and perpetuate the happy with your own lists and recipients and whatnot.
Ten things that make me happy:
1. Laughing.
2. Playing with my future step daughters, Molly and Bridget.
3. Tucking Sydney into bed at night.
4. Getting hi-five with both paws from my dog Salem. Coolest trick on the planet!
5. That first cup of coffee in the morning.
6. Jason’s hugs.
7. Getting a new comment.
8. Reading an amazing blog post that tugs my heart.
9. Discovering unending uniqueness and inspiration by fellow bloggers.
10. Receiving bloggy award love and passing it on.
Ten blogs to pass it on to:
1. Kellene, Bella Lucia Photography, talented photgrapher and writer.
2. Suzicate , The Water Witch’s Daughter , hilarious stories, especially about her husband Dirt Man.
3. Jaymie, Jaymie Thorne’s Personal Musings, poetry, reflection, and thoughts. I always enjoy my visits.
4. Lisa-Jo, The Gypsy Mama. I feel like I know her, but I think it’s because she has been so many places. Fascinating blog!
5. Holly, My Bubbled Mess. She just moved and need lots of extra love on her blog. We ALL know how tough moving is.
6. Terri, Massage by Terri. She is so supportive of her commenters. She posts some great videos. I love how her blog evolved.
7. Jenny, Scented Pixels. Extremely talented artist. Sweet disposition and she has a cute new puppy named Jiggy.
8. Lita, Senior Debutante. Wisdom, and history with a wonderfully centered and beautiful lady filled with heart.
9. Deia, Deiala. My friend from across the pond. She is a delight to me in all things German and hip.
10. Hurley Burley Girl, A Star Danced, and Under That I was born. She has the most wonderful short stories. They make me laugh, and cry.
The rules for this are similar to the previous: state five things you like to do, and pass it on to five friends. (Please let them know they received the awards with a comment or email).
1. Play Wii.
2. Anything iPhone related.
3. Photograph kids, and dogs.
4. Eat Sushi.
5. Savor a glass of red wine.
Passing it along to:
1. Luisa, Doraz says. Fun all around and her smile is contagious!
2. Blond Duck, A Duck in Her Pond. She loves cookies, and stuffed animals. We are soooo much alike! Except she writes fantastic stories that amaze me with imagination. I always get sucked right into them. Very talented and fun.
3. Lori, Escape to Joyceland. Always good for a laugh. You just never know what she will come up with but it will be baby wipe clean.
4. DJ Kirby, Chez Aspie. I love her tweets. She is a very successful writer and funny too.
5. Bliss, Bliss Bait. If I haven’t mentioned her talent, let me remind you. Poetry, pictures, and true genuineness.
FROM DORAZ Rules are:
THERE ARE TWO RULES WITH THIS AWARD…
1. I MYSELF CANNOT GET THIS AWARD BACK EVER!
2.YOU MUST FIND 3 OTHER BLOGS THAT HAVE A GOOD POSTING AND AWARD THEM WITH THIS AWARD BY NO LATER THAN SUNDAY ONE WEEK FROM 1-10-10.. GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY HUNTING!
1. Christy, Tales of the Toot. Aiden’s cross is their cross, but where many chronic families find themselves as well. I love her attitude of gratitude in this post.
2. Tess, The Bold Life. She doesn’t write a bad post. She will change your life in a bold way.
3. Karen, A Peek at Karen’s World. I love her weekly themes. She just got a fabulous new hair do! Very cute!
I will end this parade with the same award – which is very adorable and creative – to everyone on my blog roll as well. If you want it, don’t be shy. Award yourself! I did.
Hope this parade has brightened your day as much as mine. You just got showered with candy and confetti!
So, I thought I’d throw a big word out there. I should probably have learned a few more big words, but I can always blame being raised in Oklahoma on that little mishap. In fact, that works with almost everything. Being a terrible driver. Bad with directions. Not understanding. Bad with math. Being blond is exchangeable with being from Oklahoma. But I digress.
Back to what I learned, which is really not to ramble. If you ramble you get skimmed. They may go back and read the whole post out of guilt, or just in case I missed something. But maybe that’s just me being thorough (or blond)(or from Oklahoma).
Pictures make a blog post better. Even if you don’t have a good camera. Puppies and children work best.
Use pictures to tell a story with a story. It’s a great way to visualize. It’s relates your life personally with a reader.
There are many blogs, and many clubs you can join. But if you find a loyal reader, and you like reading them too, cherish them. Because once you focus on more readers rather than the ones that were there for you in the beginning. The heart of blogging is lost. Unless that’s what you want.
Write every post like it’s going to make the wordpress home page. It could happen, write it like it will.
You can blog to make money. I don’t, but it’s a great market. I blog because I want to. I want a record of my life. For my children, and for my future step children. I want one that I can look back on and enjoy a second time. I write with that in mind. I live with that in mind.
You can blog giveaways. I may do a giveaway, just because it’s really fun and nice to see someone win. It makes them happy. It won’t be the main thing though. Most likely, it will be a rare thing for me. Giveaways attract a lot of readers, for the giveaway that is.
You can blog for personal growth. There are so many blogs that are just about self-help. Selfless living. Self awareness. Acts of kindness. Amazing people that I am in awe of. If you are looking to improve yourself and learn, it’s out there. It’s magnificent.
Most bloggers have a theme they stick with. I don’t, unless you count life as a theme. I don’t want to draw myself in a box. I like writing about anything and everything. Poetry, stories, and general life.
You are supposed to have a blogging schedule. Oops. My schedule is that I don’t post every day. That’s a schedule right? I like a day to catch up on reading blogs. My aim is every two days, or so.
I’ve noticed many aspiring writers that blog. Essays, short stories, and excerpts from their books. Really incredible, and skilled writers. It’s almost like you are reading great works for free (and you are).
I love to write, but I don’t have any plans for a book. Maybe waaayyy down the road. Right now, I just enjoy where I’m at and what I’m doing. Fame and fortune is not a dream of mine. Not saying that I would mind…..
You can learn quickly about blogging if you keep your eyes open. There is a lot to learn by just paying attention. You can not let technology get the best of you. Learn it, live it, and rejoice in it. This is an amazing time of social networking. For business or personal, you never know who you might meet that could change your life.
Blogging is saturated with creativity. If you are not about the money, or the numbers (stats, followers), you can be blessed by the enormity of talent. If families make you smile, mommy blogs are great. If you love to vent, there are plenty of blogs that tell like it is. Amazing poetry? You can find it right here in blogland. Humor? Gut wrenchingly funny stuff. Reviews are popular too. I like opinions. What great insight they give. And let’s not forget the yummy food blogs, or less yummy diet blogs, but full of healthy food and exercise tidbits for your body.
Truthfully, I’ve learned you can get what you want out of blogging. Because it varies for each of us. Whether it’s growing your business, your talent, your friends, or even keeping in touch with family.
I’ve learned, blogging is a great place to be.
Happy Blogging!
This post has been edited since it was published. Editing – what writers love to hate. I’ll probably edit this later.
Owww, we want the FUNK! Give up the FUNK! Owww, we want the FUNK!-Snoop Dogg
Well, maybe I don’t mean peace funky…..
Maybe I mean junky funky….. from cake, and holiday treats.
Anyone else feel the need to detox? Not just from food, but from the lethargic state of holiday. You know? The one where you just happily proceed through the day….it’s a holiday. I don’t have to do that. I can do what I want. Eat what I want.
Laze around in sweatpants, smacking on chocolates, feet kicked pondering, UM, nothing. Ahhh….
So when Monday rolled around to “normal” , it was a bit of shock to my delicate system. Whuh? OH! It’s back to business is it? Slammed all day at work like you’re a house in Extreme Makeover. Then, I get to head to Dallas to pick up my daughter from the airport.
Hello Love Field my friend. Gimme my daughter and no one gets hurt.
The threat worked. It spit her out like a bad seed. SCARY how well I know this airport.
My little child (the Sushi Monster) is jonesing for Sushi. Well, DARN.
From the airport we take the freeway south. We are admiring the gorgeous downtown Dallas skyline – look at the pretty ball. The freeway is fairly peaceful and open. I am thanking my stars it’s not downtown Houston. Death grip on the steering wheel, foaming at the mouth as drivers zoom past, shaking the car wildly – waiting – for that one half second when the back end is plowed under and we are left on the freeway broken.Yeah, not a fan of driving in Houston.
This is so much better. Light traffic. Nice midnight blue sky. The moon is shining. The downtown buildings are still sporting their Christmas dos. I’m so grateful, and relaxed, feeling the holiday fuzz buzz of funk coming back. That’s when I remember….I FORGOT to pay rent. It’s the 4th. I’m a day late. Whuhh, whoops?
When work didn’t succeed in popping the holiday bliss bubble, then that sure did. Prick. Guess what folks? Back to the real world. You know the one where you have to do stuff. Like pay rent. And take kids to school. No more presents. No more candy.
After Sushi, I pay my penance. I take the drive to Fort Worth to drop a check in the box.
Dallas and Fort Worth are not close. If you are taking notes, you’d note – I already drove to Dallas.
Contrary to popular belief, they are a good 30-40 miles apart depending on where you are driving from and to. From where I live, it takes an hour to drive to West Fort Worth and back.
Are we there yet?
Sleep was late. I had strange out-of-body floating dreams. (?)
Day two of, in-your-face, it’s not a holiday anymore. I wake up early to take Sydney to school. I grog my way to work. I am in serious need of de-funking. I need my groove back, my energy, my git r done!
Then I found out. I won on three giveaways! Yes! This happened in ONE day! I don’t enter very many and I am newish to giveaways. In fact, I had just stated on Mom Bloggers Club thread about what I hope to get out blogging in 2010. My statement was that… I’d like to get more involved in giveaways and learn more about them.
Hey, hey, hey! Ask and you shall receive. I must say. It’s very nice to win. What’s even nicer? Meeting other bloggers and their blogs. And even nicer than that? Getting blog awards. YES I DID. But I’ve been hoarding them like a troll in a dark cave. There, there my pretties. Thing is, it’s time to bring them out and bedazzle you.
But…it will have to wait just a wee bit longer. I want it to be special. Super special. Like my 100th post kind of special. Why? Because that’s what my bloggy friends deserve.
My 2010? Is picking up speed now. I am zooming right along. I plan to be a bridezilla formulate wedding details. I discovered The Knot Website. Why yes, I do plan on being an irritating, giddy bride-to-be (gag) with a wedding website. Because you only get married oncetwice to the most incredible man in the world one time.
In a Church.
In an actual planned Christian ceremony.
With ALL your friends and family (I hope? Email me your address? angeliasims@gmail.com).
So funk with no groove? Back off and hit up some moss under a rock. I got stuff to do. It’s time to get down.
Should you find yourself at a loss, wondering what life is all about and what your purpose is, be thankful. There are those who didn’t live long enough to get the opportunity to wonder.
- Unknown
Taking inventory of your gifts and blessings
You’ll probably spend some time this weekend thinking about the good things in your life and your loved ones. Before you do that, take a moment to just consider how lucky you are to be here in the first place. In the 21st century, we can experience more in a month than most people throughout history did in a lifetime. Instead of appreciating that fact, we usually just end up wanting to do and have more. We look at what’s wrong rather than what’s right. This is a perfect time to take a look at your life and priorities again. Can you make some extra time every day to just enjoy the moment and your loved ones? You’ve been given the gift of a lifetime of moments. Accept the gift and prove yourself worthy.
‘You’ve been given the gift of a lifetime of moments.’
I haven’t been online the last few days. Spottily from my iPhone is all. What I have seen is a lot of either, New Year’s resolutions, or non-lutions, or even just goals. It is that time of year to think, reflect, and assert what you want out of 2010.
And that is great. I’m not saying any of those things are bad. I quit smoking January 1, 2006. I also lost 50lbs. Resolutions are inspiring and they can work if you have the resolve to do it. Of course they can also be done any time of the year.
What I have noticed is there less focus on living in the moment, cherishing our family, and finding more time with them. I have seen less focus on the priority of “lifetime moments”. And maybe what I am trying to say is….can we resolve to just partake in the wonder – the sheer wonder – of life all around us?
We live in an amazing world, an amazing time. My goal this year is to see – really see – what I am missing in my rush through it. I have a wedding to look forward to. The details to be incredibly poignant and meaningful. A new family to blend and grow with. My daughter turns 16. She will never be 16 again.
One of my goals, along this line of this thinking, is to get a new camera. A DSLR for a beginner. I would like to take a class at the local continuing education building (where I took Italian language). I’ve been playing around with my camera recently and I think my writing this year has increased my “eye”. I would like to expand on that in my blog and in life. I think it will be such a treasure to embark upon a lifelong sight journey.
This is an exciting time and year for me. I refuse to miss it. I want to remember and take part of every miracle that happens. I know there will be struggles. I know there will be complications. My life motto is to live as though everything is a blessing no matter what it is.
I have been through some tough stuff in my life – an abusive past relationship and drug addiction – yet, those experiences are a blessing in that it grew my compassion, strength, and knowledge. I wouldn’t be who I am without them. And that is what I hope for this year, to be AMAZED. To be present and accept the gift.
2010 – Hi there, so glad to meet you. I look forward to knowing you better.
Life is a garden, dig it.
-Joe Dirt
Please note some language in this video (bleeped out), but it is so funny with a great message.
I’m really sad to be saying good-bye to 2009. It’s been a year of change, growth, challenge, and wonder. But I am also tilting my head up, stretching it towards 2010, because I know it will be a year – I will never forget.
Come with me as we highlight and reminisce.
January-Happy New Year! I spent New Year’s Eve at a Dallas Stars Hockey game with the love of my life. We cheered among a crowd of thousands at Victory Park in downtown.
Nothing better than his birthday and a New Year.
Feburary-My niece got married. This was Jason’s first big family function that wasn’t a funeral.
And we did a big Valentine’s Party with the girls.
March-This wasn’t too eventful. Sydney had spring break. My mom and Jason’s mom had birthdays. Twilight came out on DVD. I absolutely fell in love with Sushi.*this post is not from March but I had Sushi on my calendar and this is when we started going regular on Friday nights (I think) *
April-April made up for what March lacked. We took all the kids – and my ex-husband, his wife and little boy – to my Church’s big Easter egg hunt.
Jason’s oldest, Molly, turned five. It was the first birthday party with the girl’s mom for me. I had met her, but not spent time with her. I was really excited to get to know her. I thought we could have a friendship (like I do with my ex). I love those girls and she created them. Jason never said a bad word about her. She was as cute as I thought she’d be. Lastly, we witnessed the hardest thing I have ever been through.
May-My daughter Sydney turned 15.
Jason and I celebrated our one year anniversary of meeting. May 18.
A dozen red roses, a James Avery charm bracelet with a heart charm, and wonderful Ocean Trout Sushi. What a celebration. And my 20yr old niece and her boyfriend moved into my extra bedroom at the duplex.
June-Jason started graduate school. We visited Salt Lake City, Utah fell in love and wanted to move there.
My ex-husband, dad of my daughter, and my dear friend moved to Gulfport, Mississippi. Via Jason’s ex-sister-in-law on Facebook, he found a blog that his ex-wife writes. A brilliant writer wasting her talent on talking about us. Yep, big shocker, the cute girl I met at Molly’s party had a dark side. We were devastated, as we never had any ill will toward the precious mom of those adorable children. Because of that, my blog was born. Maybe, I had something to say too. Firmly we stand in who we are no matter what anyone says. Jason’s youngest, Bridget, turned three. Another party with Jason’s ex-wife. I wasn’t near as excited – but I’d do anything for those kids – and she is part of them.
July-My one year anniversary with the girls. I met them on July fourth. We spent it with Jason’s family watching fireworks at Trinity Park in Fort Worth. Jason attended another family gathering of mine when my brother got married at his house. I cried at my brother’s wedding (oh gee). Worse than that, I’m in the background of all their vow pictures – crying.
September-Threw together a last minute family barbeque. Saw P!NK in concert.My sister got engaged, but it rivaled seeing the Cowboys play their first Monday night game in the new stadium. Jason’s best friend got married. He was a handsome groomsman.
Tomorrow is my fiance’s birthday. I have a feeling it’s going to be one of his best. How do you top 31 days of gifts? Well, I have a great idea. I think he will be extremely surprised.
Thank you for reading and remembering with me. I wish you all well. I am thrilled by your comments, by your support, and your visits. I had NO idea what the blogging community was about. Being a part of it, is definitely the biggest highlight of my year.
Have a safe and Happy New Year. I hope it’s blessed beyond measure.
It started as a wonder wisp,
a dream of pure white snow.
How lovely would a Christmas be,
if magic were to flow.
It came aboard a gusty wind,
riding high and low.
It left a wake of sparkling joy,
as it was so long ago.
Innocently pure and sweet,
was the babe we came to know.
Stillness pierced on the land.
The sun rays beam aglow.
Dawn departs,
new crystal tears,
exuberantly they flow.
I dreamed of pure white houses.
Laden with sugar delight.
I dreamed of candy cane hearts
to beat at love’s first sight.
I dreamed of gifts you can not price,
no value to their worth.
I dreamed of sugar fairies.
Merry on the earth.
I dreamed of families gathered.
A Christmas carol bliss.
To capture every moment,
where nothing is amiss.
I dreamed of laughing faces,
cheeriness in leaps and bounds.
I dreamed of a wondrous Christmas.
A dream completely astound.
I wish for every dream be true.
Sincere and full of grace.
Let heavens kiss gently press,
a light upon your face.
Most of you know, I am not a poet. Sometimes what comes out is the language of the heart. My heart was so filled up this Christmas. It overflowed. It radiated. It beamed bright spotlights. It couldn’t have been more perfect. I didn’t ask for a memorable Christmas. But I got it.
Last Christmas, I was not glowing from head to toe from radioactive iodine thyroid testing nor from the sheer glee of getting engaged. In fact, I wasn’t glowing at all….well yet.
See, the sales representative for the travel company I work for decided to take me on a road trip to Austin. We were to meet a new client I would be assigned to. This was great. A whole day off work. A ride three hours to Austin and three hours back. Lots of time to talk and catch up. I have worked with Debbie over 17 years. We have been through a lot together. Grown a lot together. It’s not just a friendship. It is a history.
I soon discovered road tripping with Debbie was not all it was cracked up to be. She liked to stop – a LOT. I am a get there kinda gal (similar to a guy but not quite). So we stop. And we stop. And we stop again. I went inside the store and got a Coke to drink. I figured why not. I need a good caffeine sugar rush. I leave the store right behind Debbie. She goes to the driver side to get in. I am walking towards the passenger side.
I am looking at the ground. I remember thinking to myself the parking lot was flat. There wasn’t a step. Just as I thought that, I felt my foot hit not pavement but air. Unfortunately foot number two was already following close behind. Instantly, I had no footing and down I went. One hand held a Coke so it splayed outward, the other hand – my right – caught the concrete. HARD.
It was not pretty or graceful. It was SPLAT. I fell forward landing on knees and one arm. I ripped a hole in my pants on the right knee. My Coke was broken and spewing. I was really bummed about that. I was pretty stinkin’ poor and didn’t want to dish out another buck for a Coke. I stood right up and shook myself off. Debbie was shocked. The truck passenger next to us, also shocked. But I was okay. I WAS. I was embarrassed to no end, but just fine thankyouverymuch.
The nice lady in the store gives me a free Coke (bless you). Onward we go to Austin, and my wrist begins to swell nice and round. Then it hurts. Debbie stops so I can get ice. Debbie stops to get cookies from a bakery for the client. I can no longer open the car door with my right hand. We stop again at the clients place. I can no longer open car doors, office doors, and now shaking hands is a real booger. Nice to meet you. OUCH.
We head back. Debbie is extremely worried. I am still very much embarrassed. I feel like a dufus. I FELL OFF A CURB. I assure her. At the most it is sprained, please don’t worry. I wasn’t going to. And I didn’t. Back in Dallas, the swelling has not gone down. Now I am bruising down the inside of my arm. A friend comes by and sees it. He thinks I should have it checked out. Debbie is texting me, begging me to get it checked out.
Finally, I decide to go to the doctor just to make sure. I head to the CareNow clinic by Jason’s house. This is when I saw him again after a two month break, what a great excuse to see him. How could he resist? I was maimed. The doctor x-rays my hand after a quick diagnosis of movements. I could not lift my hand up, flexing from the wrist. (FYI-I was still able to text). She comes back into the room with the results of the x-ray.
“Do you think your injury is severe?”
I put down my phone with my right hand, stopping a text to give her full attention. I shrugged, “I think it’s sprained. I fell down. It’s really embarrassing.”
“Ms. Sims, your hand is fractured not just in one place but TWO.”
Oh yikes, suddenly my texting ability is gone (I switch to my left hand). My hand feels funny now. Not a good funny. “Are you serious????”
“Yes, I am. This is a very dangerous break. You have broken a carpel bone that has blood flow in it. If not properly casted in seven days the bone could die. You also have a buckle fracture to your radius bone in your forearm.”
WHAT? She slips a splint on. “You can take this off but don’t use the hand. It’s very important you see an Orthopedic doctor within seven days.”
Holy Moly. This is serious. I friggin’ BROKE my arm. My RIGHT arm. OMG!
Life as I knew it changed dramatically. I will ask you to try (just once) brushing your teeth with your left hand. Opening doors with your left hand. Pulling up, and buttoning pants ONE handed. And I won’t even ask you to try writing because..well, that’s just mean. I went from completely independent and freakishly strong to – a weakling. Not only a weakling, but a weakling incapable of the smallest tasks, a weakling incapable of the smallest tasks AT CHRISTMAS. Ahhhhhh!
And I am not going to kid you. It HURT like nobodys business. It hurt worse than anything should hurt. Not just pain, but an ache, a constant ache that no medicine could cure. I won’t go into the drama of getting it casted but let’s just say, two doctors, and a dozen frantic calls later. I get a cast. A cast that feels like it weighs FIVE pounds. A cast that I did NOT get to pick the color. It was yellow. Not just any yellow but like a highlight marker yellow. This picture does not do it justice.
I mean why not tape a caution sign to my back too. Let’s just announce what a hazard I am. Beep. Beep. Beep. Big yellow bus coming through. I always thought having a cast would be cool. NOT.
Well, I have to give myself credit. I can be pretty ingenious when I want to be. When I am faced wearing a bright yellow cast, I get ingenious. So, I decided to buy some fabric marker pens from Michaels and paint that sucker!
Here is the result.
Beautiful ain’t she? You could hardly see the yellow. I was pretty proud of myself. If I was going to get noticed for a cast, let it be for a purple one. Not a dang yellow banana!
I somehow learned to type (because my job depended it on it) with a casted right arm. I typed FAST. It was pretty incredible. It HURT horribly. My shoulders ached from the offset of the cast, then from having to hoist my arm up all day to type with the four fingers sticking out. At night was the only time I took a pain pill. I had to take baths. It’s really hard to scrub with just one hand. Go ahead, try squeezing soap, with one hand, on a buff or a washcloth. Nope, don’t cheat. ONE HAND. The other is in a cast wrapped in five plastic bags, you don’t even have fingers to use.
The simplest things were a challenge. Like washing my hair one handed. At first, I tried a friend washing my hair in the sink for me, but that did not work at all. Then, I figured out a system, in the kitchen sink, with small dixie cups filled with shampoo and conditioner. It worked quite well I thought.
Eventually, I got bored with purple. I thought..black would be better. Black goes with anything. Another portrait on my arm.
Yeah, uhh, black over purple over yellow. Eh. Not so good. You know what? Nothing I could do about it. I made it another week and colored it again. (well, first we tried to SAND the black off, then color it). I think my cast dang near FELL off from abuse. It didn’t. It ended up green. (yes I know I should have left it purple) In my defense, I was in a cast for SEVEN weeks. SEVEN.
My daughter and her boyfriend, so kindly, put up the Christmas tree. They hung every ornament. Every wreath. Every candy cane. They cleaned every week for me. They carried in groceries. Anything they could do to help me, they did. I can not even tell you what a blessing that was. There is not much worse than a broken arm, and the brokenness you feel as a person. To have two teenagers step up in compassion and care was truly amazing.
Last Christmas was NOT easy, but I will never forget the Timeless Deeds those kids performed.
Merry Christmas, may it be as bright and cheery as my yellow cast.
And just in case you wondered if a cast stopped me from trying anything fun……….I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.
Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness,heart, talent, guts. That’s what little girls are made of; the heck with sugar and spice.
-Bethany Hamilton-greatest female surfer of our time.
